The Battle of October

October has been one of the worst months for me. A couple weeks back my father became extremely ill. At first he came down with a bladder infection which he went to the hospital for. He came home with some antibiotics but within the week he only got so much worse. For a couple of days we thought he came in contact with someone from the hospital that had COVID-19. He had all the symptoms. The fever, lack of taste/appetite, chills and so on. The only reason we we’re ruling it out was because 1. It was too early to … Continue reading The Battle of October

I Don’t Love Myself

!!!!!!!!!!! TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!!!!!! I speak about my current struggles with my body image and weight, PLEASE click out if you struggle with the same thing and are sensitive to the subject, I do NOT want my words to trigger you!! “Girl, you look good! You’re not fat!” oh, you mean I look good in my jeans that are tight and snug and hold everything together? In my baggy shirt that hides the stomach rolls? With my long hair that covers every inch of my big back and muffin tops? I don’t love myself. I don’t love myself because I know … Continue reading I Don’t Love Myself

What does Music mean to you?

I am in no way a musician, or know the history and every fact about music but I definitely have a deep love for it. Everyone has a way to cope, even in small ways that you don’t realize might be a coping mechanism. There’s music, art, dance, exercise, walks, meditation, even just sitting in a quiet room with your eye shut just going with the motion. I have always loved music, but more of the words than the actual music itself. There’s been so many times I’ve heard a song that I could dance non stop to, but sometimes … Continue reading What does Music mean to you?

A Letter Never Sent

I think my heart has been broken so much that there’s no longer any pieces left to stomp on. What do you do when you patiently wait for 6 years? 6 years for your sister that left in the middle of the night with no warning to come back home? A sister that lived a horrible life, picking up the slack from her partner, for 6 years. How many tears did I cry in those 6 years? How many screams, sleepless nights, and attacks did I get from not knowing if you’re okay. It took almost 7 years for you … Continue reading A Letter Never Sent

Yes, I Love You

I think I realized I loved you when we sat across from each other at IHOP, not the first visit but the second one. I was teary eyed from a phone call, I took a shower and without any makeup we walked to IHOP for a late meal. I sat across from you hoping for a miracle that you couldn’t see my acne, my red puffy skin and the marks left on my face. I knew you could, you were less than 3 feet from my face. You still sat across from me and made sure to remind me I … Continue reading Yes, I Love You

A Letter To Greg Abbott

How does it feel being partly responsible for the thousands of people that will fall ill? Granted, it’s not 100% your fault because careless people will still chose to live life as if it were pre-corona. But so many more people will be falling ill and potentially lose their life because you decided to re-open Texas prematurely. How does it feel knowing many people will die because of your poor choice? I don’t think this virus is something YOU have to worry about because I’m sure you have all the resources you need. I’m a retail worker, or what they … Continue reading A Letter To Greg Abbott

When you were 24. A letter to myself.

A lot happened while you were 24, let my remind you that you’ve only been 24 for about 6 months. You ended a relationship, one that you cherished. He was a good man, you both just had different mindsets. I wonder if you’ll even remember him 10 years from now. He was tall, blonde, blue eyes and had the laugh of a God. He was so patient and kind to you, but you were both had different mindsets, different paces. The distance got to you both, you didn’t want to end it, but you felt like it was unfair to … Continue reading When you were 24. A letter to myself.

Corona Virus, Anxiety and Life

Well here I am again. Turning to my blog when things feel so hectic and when I’m anxiety filled. I’m currently at Dunkin reviewing material for my GRE exam, an entrance exam I’ll be taking April 13th for admission into the Master’s Program. But the most terrifying topic is just sitting in the back of my brain, the Corona Virus. Am I the only one that is horribly terrified? I’m filled with anxiety and i’ve been thinking and worrying about it non stop, I’ve already had 3 dreams about it and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the … Continue reading Corona Virus, Anxiety and Life